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I assured her that we would get together again after a while. It was a very awkward moment for me. But, life must go on.****I had not been ignoring my mother all this time. I continued to play the roll of the competent, capable young man that I hoped would lead her to more readily accept me as her Master.The Mortgage on the house was paid off right after dads' funeral but taxes on the investments that we lived off of and all other bills, credit cards utilities etc., were handled by me. Mom was very appreciative and impressed.As I was sure that dad would have done I reviewed mom's purchases each month and I noticed a trend of ridiculous consumption, such as an end table and lamp that we didn't need. There were few other items also, nothing really outrageous, but enough for me to bring it up with her."I'll buy what ever I want," she shot back at me.I came back in a calm but firm tone that I had heard dad use many times. "Look, I'm just trying to keep you from getting carried away. If. Any relation to Mercedes Benz?"Flight Attendant: "Yes sir, very close"Businessman: "How close?"Flight Attendant: "Same price"Absolutely clever and oddly truthful this ought to take some of the curse out of it.THE PULITZER COLONOSCOPYABOUT THE WRITER: Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.Colonoscopy Journal:I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep, ' which comes in a.
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